09-23-04/8:29 PM

this no strings attatched sex is proving to have a lot of fucking strings!
maybe becos i chose to get involved with a self-depriciating eccentric homo-leaning facecious razorblade smart timebomb. it's like holding a firecracker in your hand and struggling with the "what if's" -
n' having a feeling, furthermore, than when it all goes off all you'll be able to do is stare at the sparks skittering across the concrete along with the rest of your arm.
yeah,
it's pretty good.
except for all the nuclear emotional fall-out of breaking up a relationship when you only really just wanted the fucking around with soembody else's significant other. but then found yrself sappy for the companionship. n' started to consort with stupidity n' letting all those perfectly placed shields down that allowed the mindset of mindblowing complacency n' "yehaw" attitude to flourish freely as the fucking bumbebees!
goddamnit.
i always thought starring in my own epic dramatic artistic cutting-edge nouveau movie would be more fun.